sparkly1

my bucket list :naughty: see my son and daughter loved happy good parents (2 out of 3 aint bad lol) I want to see my son graduate with his masters degree in Computer Science with artificial intelligence from Imperial uni/college London and get his dream job (he graduates the end of this year and it's held at The Royal Albert Hall) , seen Vix dancing there once. So that one wont be long. I want to see Vix in her dream role of Elphaba in "Wicked" and to be successful in her chosen career. For me I would like to be more at ease in my own skin and more confident. I don't really want to "do" dangerous things or go see a lot of the world, and I certainly DON'T want to eat disgusting things lol. and yeah course I want to spend some quality time getting to be Mika's mate (or mother in law) lol.

nope I was not directing this at any one person at all because I think it's within us all to wallow and also to climb out and sometimes we find it harder to climb out than others, I should know I have had my fair share but I also know there is always somebody who has had or got it worse than ourselves). Hell I still have days when I weep like a banshee cos I feel so god dam unloved, and stuff but hey... it doesn't last forever, like life doesn't and I gotta admit doing all things Mika related has sure given me a new lease of life and makes my days brighter. we are a long time dead and no one knows when our time is up, and I have enough regrets already. It's obvious that I am going through an "ok" period for now so I am gonna make the most of it, I am sure some lows will come again sooner or later, they have to I expect them to, I will just have to deal with them the best I can when they turn up and I know some of them will knock me for six, it's scary but I don't want to think that way too much or it will depress me. Apart from that I think each persons situation is different, like each person is different, and I don't know enough about you to point my finger in your direction, (I wouldn't anyway) so please don't think I am aiming anything at you cos I am not, it's not what I would do.

awesome where is the pic from?

oh that is too funny lol

He was given a Mika captions book quite a while ago, he found the 1st one very amusing it was something to do with borat lol. The pics were taken off this thread.

was this taken at Doncaster or has he done the high flying gold jacket at a lot of gigs lol, (I'm sure we took a pic at the same time like this lol).

I admire that strength you have there

Good for you, it takes real strength to force yourself to get over something sh*tty, well that is, you might NEVER get over some things, but the way I see it, if we hang onto our open wounds and poke them all the time making them sore, then we have let some low life get the better of us and win, and I prefer to see myself as a survivor. yeah I have emotional scars but who ever said life was easy cos it's not but I think it's how we DEAL with our problems that matter. I sometimes think people these days just have this idea that life is meant to be easy and they think everyone else apart form THEM has a sunny lovely life. This is not so at all and I have known friends who have never had anything to emotionally scar them during their growing up years yet something comes up in their 40's or so and they can't deal with it as they have never had to. Life is hard at times, EVERYONE at some point or other has bad stuff happen to them, and what one person might never get over, another does their damdest to try, and some succeed. So to sum up, don't let the b*stards grind you down, we only get once chance here so yeah there are going to be up's and down's but if there were no down's how would we recognize and appreciate the up's. (ps I have bad days too we all do, and sometimes we need help to see the light at the end of that tunnel).

Hello and welcome and yes it is futile to resist the charms of the big M, we are all his slaves (well we WOULD be he only has to ask lol)

aww poor lamb (sorry I couldn't resit that one )

THIS is MY fave chocolate for all eternity :wub2:

Ive not written a blog on it or a review or posted my FEW pics (new camera was poopy) but I did get some reasonable vids apart from the sound that goes low when I zoomed in ???? it's not a bad video so here is the link to "Any Other World" Brixton 28.2.08 http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q_mq0T4lTo When I get my looong yet awesome Lollipop finale vid the right size i will also post that.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5cG_vyXFjag did someone mention the C word ^

Oooo thank you I shall give that a go tomorrow as its too late right now as I have to get up for workies tomorrow lol.

Found a very dark one I wrote a few years ago, I can't find my other ones just yet. Susceptible reflections Reflected is the image Of my future The path that beckons is brightly lit With bloodstains and death I cannot escape Cannot run away or even turn my head Death follows me Like the eyes of her portrait Teasing, tantalizing me With every way I turn It wants me, THEY want me To make them feel… normal. Images flicker their way into my tormented youth. Cut, slice, bleed scar Slice cut scar bleed scar Image, normality Normality image Youth, bleed. Information overloads normality. I model your image I reflect back your saboteur, You are my mirror As I am yours. 20/11/2004©Vivienne B

OO interesting thread. We all ask what am I from time to time and as you rightly say ppl change and evolve and learn constantly (thankfully). I used to be really out going when I was a kid and teenager (which is surprising cos life was not a bed of roses) I was bullied for for being the poorest family in the school and family life sucked as well. Then the older I got the more shy and introverted I became. I have always been far too sensitive and it can be really embarrassing to shed tears as easily as I do (I welled up tonight while watching Vix at her singing lesson cos I know the song she was singing means such a lot to her to get it right and it sounded pretty dam good).(Defying Gravity from Wicked). I express my feelings in my poetry, I don't profess it to be of a high quality so when I write from the heart is is often quite raw. (linkage to a few I posted if anyone is interested) http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5969 I dislike almost everything about myself which is a real pain and makes me even more introverted and shy, though once I get to know ppl I like nothing better than having a great laugh with them I love laughter soo much that is Mikas sweetest characteristic for me. My parents and family disowned me 24 years ago for something THEY did wrong not me, so that means they have never seen my children, it took a long time but I got over it. I swear more than I like to and can be grumpy sometimes lol. I am also a bit of a deep thinker but it can be upsetting sometimes. Can't think of much else right now I think I have probs said too much already lol. But since finding Mika and MFC my days have much more sunshine in them even though I often stay up till the wee hours on here.

:blink:eh?

yes I do but I'm not sure how to use it lol (sounds like a loaded gun) :naughty: and how on earth do I subscribe to all threads I visit but with no emails clogging my inbox? I don't know what buttons to press arrrgh!!

yes it would be really nice to see him all loved up bet he's even MORE awesome when he is in luuurrrve,

Yippee I managed to sort out my pay pal cos it wasn't working so I lost my donation virginity it had better have worked cos it's taken me a while to work it out cos I am not a puter genius like my son (look I am old tekky st0of doesn't sit well in my brain)

erm its so is that too big and if so how can I shrink it to fit?

Thanx Liz found another one now you reminded me I used to write poetry before I got Mika-ized lol. Silenced Strings The sallow pauperised Fingers of the soloist Hover teasingly in Glaciate anticipation, A breath away from Silenced strings Yearning, aching For your expert touch To strum life Once again But here I stand…preserved Within your rigid grip, Growing ever colder In this underused subway The overused ivory pick Forever swallowed Within the belly Behind oxidized Silenced strings. 27/9/2006©Vivienne B (The pic art is not my own).

when one of my work colleges found out I had been to the after party what was the 1st thing she asked me???!! yep you guessed, I just said "I have NO idea and I don't care" I mean, I don't care if he is or not, but I am a little curious but it wont make a jott of difference to how I feel about him cos I just love his personality he is kind, thoughtful, gracious well mannered, talented and I love how close he is with his family (cos I don't have that with my parents) so... yeah I'm a little curious but that is it I don't spend all my time thinking of that as it's really quite unimportant to me, but obviously is to a lot of ppl.

Bumbee Vix drank cola cos she doesn't like much alcohol either (pity I could've had hers pfft) lol, that is her orange antenna on the pic, when he came and stood next to us for his speech and Vix yelled SHUT UP!! (oops it worked though they did so M could make his speech).

shouldn't that be accordingLY to plan :roftl: