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HollyD

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Ok,guys here is the next poem but this one is still a bit rough round the edges but would be great to hear your feedback!!!

This one is of course Grace Kelly and rather than use metaphors like Mika did I rewrote it into a literal and blunt meaning of the song! So hope u like it!!!

 

(NO title as of yet)

 

Who are you to state who I am or who I should be?

You try to make me conform to your ways to become someone I'm not!

 

I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this do you?

 

I am a unique person, not a crowd follower.

Don't try to manipulate me ,

because it won't work.

 

You think everyone will come in here

and change themselves until you are happy,

Well I wont!

I know who I am and I'm sticking to it!!!

 

 

There we go, it is quite a short one but it hopefully gets the message accross..so, what do u think? I probably need to add a few more verses but wanted your opinions on it so far and if u think I am going in the right direction for this song!

I think that is exactly what he wanted to say with the song....

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I think that is exactly what he wanted to say with the song....

Anyway, guys, it's so late and I have to get up in 7 hours! Which is bad for me.. :blink: So, good night everyone! :huglove: I will see you later! (-:

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Yep.... it just needs to be a bit longer!!!!! :wub2:

 

 

Yeah definitely, anyway I better go to bed cos it is 240am and I need to get up in the morning but u will be on tomoz wont u Holly? may have more poems for u to read!!!:wink2:

*hoping that xBillyBrownx gives feedback before Liz goes to bed*

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Yeah definitely, anyway I better go to bed cos it is 240am and I need to get up in the morning but u will be on tomoz wont u Holly? may have more poems for u to read!!!:wink2:

*hoping that xBillyBrownx gives feedback before Liz goes to bed*

 

Oh night night :huglove:

 

I will be on tomorrow!!! I am about to be off to bed myself! :naughty:

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Ok,guys here is the next poem but this one is still a bit rough round the edges but would be great to hear your feedback!!!

This one is of course Grace Kelly and rather than use metaphors like Mika did I rewrote it into a literal and blunt meaning of the song! So hope u like it!!!

 

(NO title as of yet)

 

Who are you to state who I am or who I should be?

You try to make me conform to your ways to become someone I'm not!

 

I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this do you?

 

I am a unique person, not a crowd follower.

Don't try to manipulate me ,

because it won't work.

 

You think everyone will come in here

and change themselves until you are happy,

Well I wont!

I know who I am and I'm sticking to it!!!

 

 

There we go, it is quite a short one but it hopefully gets the message accross..so, what do u think? I probably need to add a few more verses but wanted your opinions on it so far and if u think I am going in the right direction for this song!

 

Greeaat job againn!:punk:

it's similar to grace kelly because you use a lot of questions.. and also a lot of negatives..

maybe where it says "I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this do you?" you can remove the 'do you' (i'm sorry i'm being annoying :( )

 

you're very good at this:roftl: :thumb_yello:

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Greeaat job againn!:punk:

it's similar to grace kelly because you use a lot of questions.. and also a lot of negatives..

maybe where it says "I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this do you?" you can remove the 'do you' (i'm sorry i'm being annoying :( )

 

you're very good at this:roftl: :thumb_yello:

 

That is good advice!!!! I did it *in my head* and I have to agree!!!!

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Greeaat job againn!:punk:

it's similar to grace kelly because you use a lot of questions.. and also a lot of negatives..

maybe where it says "I know who I am but you don't seem to understand this do you?" you can remove the 'do you' (i'm sorry i'm being annoying :( )

 

you're very good at this:roftl: :thumb_yello:

 

Do not apologise you are not being annoying in fact u are being very helpful. But it is ironic cos the way u are suggesting is the way I had originally written it and yeah to be honest I prefer it that way! Thankyou for your compliments to, I jus love to write and if it is anything to do with Mika I am definitely loving it! Anyway, I may do a bit more writing poems before I sleep but I am going offline now so I will hopefully see u tomoz on mfc!!!

 

Night xxx

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Anyway, guys, it's so late and I have to get up in 7 hours! Which is bad for me.. :blink: So, good night everyone! :huglove: I will see you later! (-:

 

Yeah definitely, anyway I better go to bed cos it is 240am and I need to get up in the morning but u will be on tomoz wont u Holly? may have more poems for u to read!!!:wink2:

*hoping that xBillyBrownx gives feedback before Liz goes to bed*

 

niight guys! xx

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Thankyou all so much for the feedback and lovely comments, I will post some more tomoz if I can! Hope u are enjoying them so far and I will speak to u all soon!!!

 

Night xxx

 

Do not apologise you are not being annoying in fact u are being very helpful. But it is ironic cos the way u are suggesting is the way I had originally written it and yeah to be honest I prefer it that way! Thankyou for your compliments to, I jus love to write and if it is anything to do with Mika I am definitely loving it! Anyway, I may do a bit more writing poems before I sleep but I am going offline now so I will hopefully see u tomoz on mfc!!!

 

Night xxx

 

thanks! and keep them coming!:thumb_yello: xx

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