Tone on the Mfc

[sienna]

It is always a surprise to see who is reading a thread when people suddenly pop up because they have seen something they simply NEED to comment on.

 

I don’t have anything special to comment on but your post made me realize that I very often am one of those who read way more than I post.

So after reading all 15 pages I just wanted to tell that I’m here.

 

Interesting thread, and a good thing is that many people are aware of the difficulties we can have as not native speakers.

[BonjourMika1990]

Yes, I do feel attacked sometimes... I really don't know why...honestly,

"snappy" for me is just stating my opinion...

 

*shrug*

[JackViolet]

Actually, ever since people have relaxed a bit about seeing Mika as entirely perfect and everyone having to agree all the time, I think the forums have gotten more positive in general tone rather than less. I mean, I will say I was a bit surprised that my last thread that voiced one single criticism of Mika got some people responding as though I was bashing the guy, but even so, a year ago I may not have been able to make that thread at all without everyone going "OMG what are you saying Mika rulz!!!" I remember when I first started posting, there was a LOT of really snide, underhanded sarcasm directed at the more blissfully "carebear" members (this was how this began, in part, after all), it's just that the posts were written in such a way so that the person being mocked wouldn't necessarily understand they were being mocked. Now, since people can more openly disagree, there is less of the underhanded sniping.

 

And thing is, if you try to police and curb people too much that is exactly what you'll get--more s and who knows what else, more people starting in-jokes that make fun of other members but do so in a way that no one else understands, etc. Personality clashes will happen, and it's better to let them have a way of being defused rather than keeping it all bottled up.

 

By the way, Petra, I think I was the one who replied to you way back when (like, 2 months ago?) with the "All cool then " response. I kind of wish you'd just asked me what I meant if it bothered you. What it meant in that circumstance was exactly what it may seem like... I acknowledged that I misunderstood your initial post, and so was saying that since you didn't mean what I thought you did, my response didn't apply. The was partly joking, but basically meant "we can all go back to being happy with rose-tinted glasses now."

 

Also, btw, as a random note--personally I also use that smiley to mean "smug" or "cool" because it looks like a very smug face to me, and the sunglasses make it look like it's trying to be "cool" too.

 

--Jack

[Mika4Life13]

Yes, I do feel attacked sometimes... I really don't know why...honestly,

"snappy" for me is just stating my opinion...

 

*shrug*

 

 

Me too, mel

[BonjourMika1990]

 

 

Me too, mel

 

lol it's because we're cute:mf_rosetinted:

[BonjourMika1990]

For me and my experience, there have been people who seem to go out of their way to just dissprove something...It can be anything "The sky is blue"

"Actually , melanie...it's turqouise"

 

Some people have had nothing postive to say to me... I never want to argue, but when it comes to giving my opinion...people just don't want to hear it:naughty:

[Petra]

Jack, I know it was you but I had no intention to point at anyone here, so...hm. This was just used as an example here. Anyway, frankly, if I PMed everyone what everything was about in their posts, I'd be PMing all day (which would mean I didn't have time to read posts and thus no need to PM, hence the time again to read posts and the need to PM and everything would end up in chaos ). I'm not good at arguing my point and sometimes it's just the best for me to simply leave things the way they are instead of caring about them until the bitter end (which shall mean that, when I read your NRJ-post, I was like "What the heck... oh, forget it *sigh*").

[CazGirl]

wow, that was like an essay paper. I'm impressed, I must say.

 

This is what I have written on my "biography" part on my MySpace:

 

I believe in good English skills and I speak well. I don't sound like your regular Essex Girl. I believe in bringing back Standard English because nowadays I don't understand wtf everyone is saying. "Chav language" to me is disgraceful and an insult to the English tongue - It's the most common language in the world so make it sound good. Well spoken people are more respected anyway. Probably because they sound smart.

I'm not saying all chav people are thick - they probably aren't - but if you want to make a good impression you have to make the effort. That's common sense.

 

I can't stand all this text spelling and what not. I have an obsession with correct spelling. I only use text speak in text - I barely ever use it anywhere else. I'm all for communication. People are just coming lazy and it angers me SO MUCH. Ironically, I don't quite know how to express myself in this kind of topic because it makes me so angry I just want to scream.

 

Heck, at least I'm making a sound rather than showing an emoticon to express my feelings for me. Everyone's got a vocabulary so they should bloody well use it in my opinion!

[lollipop_monkey]

Whoa - a girl can miss a lot in two weeks!

 

I spent the last two weeks in California, planning my wedding then chasing Mika up the west coast. My Internet access was limited to hotel Wi-fi and airport access, so I stuck mostly to the concert review and news sections when I could get on. But, now I'm back, and therefore will add my two cents to this (although the other moddies, not to mention other members, have done well at expressing their thoughts).

 

1) The tone of MFC

 

Guys, this isn't really news. I've been here close to a year, and every once in a while, someone is taken aback by the change in tone and posts a thread about it. The MFC is a dynamic and evolving place, and there will be changes as that evolution takes place. New members will arrive, old ones will fade away, and that's natural. It saddens me to think, though, that members are leaving because they don't like what they find on here - but without the members in question trying to better the problems they see, our hands are truly tied. In terms of "overall tone" - I think its expected that people conduct themselves with a basic undertone of respect, but beyond that, "tone" - in the absence of specific examples - is a hard thing to control. We truly do our best, but in some cases it boils down to a simple case of personalities that don't mix. It's like real life in that way - sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is just move on to other parts of the forum, and give the person you take issue with a wide berth.

 

2) Open dialogue with the mods

 

Moderating this forum, with as much traffic as it gets, is a big job. We don't expect medals and marching bands for our efforts, but we really hope its understood that we can't be in every thread at every moment.

 

All members have the ability to report posts they take issue with, or to PM any of us if there's something going on here that you are not pleased with. There's no way I can promise that we will necessarily agree with any given member - as best as humanly possible, we try to look at each situation objectively and step in with a fair hand when necessary.

 

I'm not sure why certain members felt more comfortable contacting Pink than any of us - maybe us mods need to brainstorm new ways to ensure the lines of communication are open and amicable.

 

What I can promise is that anyone who contacts a mod (to voice a concern, or otherwise) will be listened to, treated with respect, and can be assured that their privacy will be respected - no matter how big or small the issue. No one needs to feel embarrassed or fear being punished in any way for bringing up a concern. The worst case scenario is that we see things in a different light, and do our best to try and explain to the member why we see things as we do.

 

3) Local slang and other terms

 

A smaller issue, it seems, compared to the others - but I disagree with trying to avoid uber-casual dialogue and regional slang. I admit that I'm looking at this from the perspective of a native English speaker, but I find the local nuances to be one of the MFCs shining points. Without this site, I'd have no clue what it meant to "get in a strop" or what "wuschel" refers to. This site is a global community, and I love the mosaic aspect to us.

[JackViolet]

sometimes it's just the best for me to simply leave things the way they are instead of caring about them until the bitter end (which shall mean that, when I read your NRJ-post, I was like "What the heck... oh, forget it *sigh*").

Hahah. Well I guess you didn't quite forget about it since it came up again... so I thought I'd clear it up then! So that you can know now, after 2 months, that I really was saying "Okay, I understand, everything's fine!" and not "Shut up dummy."

 

--Jack

[CazGirl]

Actually, ever since people have relaxed a bit about seeing Mika as entirely perfect and everyone having to agree all the time, I think the forums have gotten more positive in general tone rather than less. I mean, I will say I was a bit surprised that my last thread that voiced one single criticism of Mika got some people responding as though I was bashing the guy, but even so, a year ago I may not have been able to make that thread at all without everyone going "OMG what are you saying Mika rulz!!!" I remember when I first started posting, there was a LOT of really snide, underhanded sarcasm directed at the more blissfully "carebear" members (this was how this began, in part, after all), it's just that the posts were written in such a way so that the person being mocked wouldn't necessarily understand they were being mocked. Now, since people can more openly disagree, there is less of the underhanded sniping.

 

--Jack

 

I think it's because....whenever you post a new thread or whatever *well not EVERY thread* it sometimes just seems as if you barely have anything positive to say about him just my personal opinion.

I think the "Mika sexuality" one was one of your best posts. Even if the odd few didn't understand your satire lol

[Petra]

Hahah. Well I guess you didn't quite forget about it since it came up again... so I thought I'd clear it up then! So that you can know now, after 2 months, that I really was saying "Okay, I understand, everything's fine!" and not "Shut up dummy."

 

--Jack

Oh, I never forget. I've got a brain like Humphrey, the MFC-elephant.

[suzie]

I was a bit surprised that my last thread that voiced one single criticism of Mika got some people responding as though I was bashing the guy, but even so, a year ago I may not have been able to make that thread at all without everyone going "OMG what are you saying Mika rulz!!!"

I understand some people (including me) might have sounded rather defensive on Mika when you 'voiced your criticism' on your last thread, for example. However, I don't think it had to do with the fact that he was criticised but due to the fact that he was criticised for something beyond his control (i.e. spontaneity)... I am very critical of everyone, including myself, and I love arguing, too, so I hope you did not take my posts as an 'attack' on you... In fact, I only argue or discuss things with people whose opinion I respect...

As for your observation on how MFC members' response to criticism changed over a year, I agree completely... and I think it is a positive change. Firstly, we should have freedom of speech here, secondly because Mika himself needs to listen to criticism from his fans as he is getting more and more famous and isolated from the real world. (However much he can ignore the press, he should be never retire in an ivory tower and only listen to people who are in agreement with him whatever he does.)

 

I remember when I first started posting, there was a LOT of really snide, underhanded sarcasm directed at the more blissfully "carebear" members (this was how this began, in part, after all), it's just that the posts were written in such a way so that the person being mocked wouldn't necessarily understand they were being mocked. Now, since people can more openly disagree, there is less of the underhanded sniping.

Now I am confused, because previuosly the following was stated on this thread:

Actually refers to the phrase 'through rose-tinted specticles' meaning that if someone is "seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses," .....

This is not how we use it, we use it to generally mean sarcasm or the previous words were in jest.

 

I usually use when I make a (usually sarcastic) joke..

Not sure if I am misunderstood sometimes then..

Can someone clarify from both sides of the Atlantic?

[violet_sky]

3) Local slang and other terms

 

A smaller issue, it seems, compared to the others - but I disagree with trying to avoid uber-casual dialogue and regional slang. I admit that I'm looking at this from the perspective of a native English speaker, but I find the local nuances to be one of the MFCs shining points. Without this site, I'd have no clue what it meant to "get in a strop" or what "wuschel" refers to. This site is a global community, and I love the mosaic aspect to us.

 

Totally agree to that. I really think the colloquial aspect is an enormous enrichment for this community and I am not a native English speaker. I don't mind having an online dictionnary handy and open in another tab and make use of it often.

[Gatagordinha]

I understand some people (including me) might have sounded rather defensive on Mika when you 'voiced your criticism' on your last thread, for example. However, I don't think it had to do with the fact that he was criticised but due to the fact that he was criticised for something beyond his control (i.e. spontaneity)... I am very critical of everyone, including myself, and I love arguing, too, so I hope you did not take my posts as an 'attack' on you... In fact, I only argue or discuss things with people whose opinion I respect...

 

Very lazy of me this but the above goes for me too, almost word for word. Although I really don't enjoy arguing. I see lots of things written on here that I disagree with but because I am generally non-confrontational as a person, nine times out of ten I will keep schtum.

Recently though I've felt more confident about expressing my views and opposing others' views, and that's partly because I sense the forum has lately become a little more critical of Mika in general, as suzie also said:

 

As for your observation on how MFC members' response to criticism changed over a year, I agree completely... and I think it is a positive change. Firstly, we should have freedom of speech here, secondly because Mika himself needs to listen to criticism from his fans as he is getting more and more famous and isolated from the real world. (However much he can ignore the press, he should be never retire in an ivory tower and only listen to people who are in agreement with him whatever he does.)

 

It's good that people can express controversial views on here now, and they should not be shot down in flames, but likewise they should naturally expect some people to disagree. As long as the arguing/discussing is done politely, with due acknowledgment that people have differing opinions, all should be well.

 

I use a lot, probably too much. I use it to indicate sarcasm or irony. I often accompany it with to underline that what I am saying is not serious.

[Sarah_loves_mika]

For me and my experience, there have been people who seem to go out of their way to just dissprove something...It can be anything "The sky is blue"

"Actually , melanie...it's turqouise"

 

 

I know what you mean, i've experienced that too.

 

And also something similar i've noticed is some peoples need to be sarcastic in every single post - don't wear it out guys!! It's funny sometimes, but really most of the time there is just no need for it.

 

A good example was Vanessa's 30 000 post celebration thread last night. Ok, yeah, have a little bit of a laugh, but to carry it on in about 5 other posts and not even say well done to the member (which was generally what the thread was created for!) was unecessary.

[zoots14]

It's good that people can express controversial views on here now...

should naturally expect some people to disagree. As long as the arguing/discussing is done politely, with due acknowledgment that people have differing opinions, all should be well.

 

Agreed, absolutely. I don't think there is anything wrong with voicing a differing opinion, and I don't think it should be interpreted as an attack on the original poster. Different opinions are just that, and I think debate is perfectly acceptable (and expected). If you start a thread that you know is going to get some responses and some disagreements, it's important not to be uber-sensitive about it... people are simply debating what you said, not making it personal about you as an individual, so there's no need to get defensive.

[hmitts]

i know i'm relatively new here on mfc, but in all honesty, i haven't noticed much negativity. but, it's maybe because i haven't been on here long enough or know exactly how different mfc was 12 months ago (or maybe that i am also a little oblivious). i will say though, that the "atmosphere" when i joined was very welcoming and i still feel that way.

 

also, i know the point of this thread has to do with mfc specifically, but in comparison with A LOT of other forums people here are LOADS more respectful to one another. this isn't the first messageboard i've joined, and trust me, some of the other ones (even moderated ones) people can be absolutely VICIOUS to one another.

 

i wish i could just tell everyone "don't take things too seriously, it's just the internet", but i know that would be a somewhat ignorant statement...

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

i know i'm relatively new here on mfc, but in all honesty, i haven't noticed much negativity. but, it's maybe because i haven't been on here long enough or know exactly how different mfc was 12 months ago (or maybe that i am also a little oblivious). i will say though, that the "atmosphere" when i joined was very welcoming and i still feel that way.

 

also, i know the point of this thread has to do with mfc specifically, but in comparison with A LOT of other forums people here are LOADS more respectful to one another. this isn't the first messageboard i've joined, and trust me, some of the other ones (even moderated ones) people can be absolutely VICIOUS to one another.

 

i wish i could just tell everyone "don't take things too seriously, it's just the internet", but i know that would be a somewhat ignorant statement...

 

Thanks for you comments newbie

 

Your right in what you say ... dont take things too serious , we are here to chat about mika .... its not life or death , we dont have to analyse everything to the minute detail ,but if people want to then they can

 

I was on the Queen forum .. now that was nasty ... and got worse , in general we are friendly and its a great forum

 

For an un official to become official shows how good we are

[nico_collard]

Thank you, but I know for a fact that some people don't agree. That's why I say that readers have to take some responsibility for how they respond to a post and not necessarily place the blame on the writer if they are offended or misunderstand.

 

Well I agree, and that's the only thing that matters!

 

The MFC if we like it or not is very different to what we had say middle of last year it was a lot more friendly .. I had one or two people leave for personnel reasons but generally people stayed.

 

Now I get regular long time members leaving with comments that theyve been attacked or bullied or bad comments have been made , now this is long term members if have been around and can state the change and the effect its had .....

 

I see that some people seem to like a good argument or to be bitchy , it stands out a mile on a day to day basis

 

If people are leaving and we feel its down to a bad culture then we will have no option but to start modding and looking at the MFC differently .

 

The style has been to let arguments run and people sort things out themselves.

 

The bottom line is many have and are leaving as we are developing a bad culture in places ..

 

*bows to Freddie*

 

Well said..

 

Thanks PU. Who said we should rise above it?

The way I responded reflects my personality and is the way I would react in real life. I hope I have had enough interaction with Petra for her to know that I am joking.

 

And are you implying that I am on my high horse , anal and should grow up?

If so, I don't think I deserved that, frankly.

 

*reserves comment*

 

I know about some people who more or less stopped posting and going online because of different things that are going on around here. I stopped posting as well but I started again on Friday (after three weeks of absence or so) because I had a thread to make. It seems that the general atmosphere on the forums has become negative - it was horrible there when I left (which was the reason why I left) and I thought that it had gotten a slight bit better now but I'm not sure if this thought was correct. Hm.

 

I cannot really say when it started turning into what it is at the moment (or what I think it is at the moment) (although I'd actually say it has been much worse a few weeks ago but I have to admit that I'm not really up-to-date what everyone is posting on page 45 of thread XY) – however, there was the Big Boredom after Christmas shortly before the US-gigs started. Silly threads were created and people were obviously happy to post on everything that came up their mind. It got often negative, dirtier, often unfriendly, inappropriate and sometimes hateful - but that's my opinion.

 

That's usually when it gets worse... when Mika's not doing anything... So we'll get worse when Mika goes to record the album...

 

i forgot to say that i had been making a lot of efforts lately either NOT to post when i think what i'm gonna post is gonna be like a bomb OR posting something with very carefully chosen words, so carefully chosen that when i press the "reply" button, noone is talking about what i'm talking about anymore and it has the effect of a bomb cause people think i'm digging up the sh*t !! so either way : posting or not posting, i'm stuck

 

well, stop the joke... honest, i've been trying, but it's obvious that when i post something that is not decorticated and justified for each word i used, and MIGHT possibly be taken the wrong way, the wrong way is always the one chosen by the people who read it and ô suprise, find it "aggressive"... talking about my posts only... but i'm sorry, i'm not gonna make 1000 words post everytime i want to say something just because a minority of touchy people could be offended by NOTHING ! so for god sake i'm not mean, and nothing i post on here is intended to be mean. so stop thinking that, and think about what i want to say, not about "who i am attacking with that post".

 

i am saying that cause i HAVE EXPERIENCED the situation where i posted something very simple, nothing wrong, nothing important, and someone found a way to think it was mean the situation is over and it's all good, but i'm tired of having to justify myself after everything i post just because i'm saying things not in all bright pink words...

 

Geez Yop... relax!

 

*pats Yop*

 

One more thing .. opinions are good .... "Mika is all shiny and bright" is not always the right thing to say , we will be going official for a reason and thats due to the opinions we say

 

My concern is the number of people that done like it now , saying its changed so much .. and it is .. we need to be careful

 

Mika is all shiny and bright...

 

That little pearler is going in my sig Freddie!

 

What about some kind of mission statement? An overall direction for the forums to take so we can all have some idea of what we think would be an ideal environment at MFC? And maybe some of the structure we talked about earlier with a sub forum for the music so that some of this idle talk can be channeled in another direction and people have a place to discuss Mika's work without getting caught up in a lot of other nonsense that they don't care for.

 

I'm finding it a bit difficult to work within the vague parameters of not being "too aggressive" or "argumentative" or whatever except to just shut up and not say anything. There have been a lot of complaints that the forum has changed and it's too negative and aggressive but it would be helpful to know exactly what we're talking about here because I don't really see it.

 

I mean not on such a regular basis that it's intolerable. Flareups on a forum with thousands of people are inevitable and it's a bit unrealistic to expect things to go back to January 2007. Deano has been actively recruiting new members for months and things will explode once Mika starts touting MFC as his fan club. It's never going to be the way it was but I don't think the changes necessarily make MFC a negative and unfriendly place.

 

Honestly Christine... I like the idea of a mission statement... and still like the idea of guidelines for us to keep in mind when we post...

 

Well as you rightly said its difficult to comment as Im unsure of what caused this in the first place ...... So Im commenting purely on a day to day who I speak to basis ...

 

The MFC is being made official as the MFC works .... I dont want to drag all the heated arguments out of it , I dont want to destroy the culture so I/we need specifics .Not being an active MOD is tough as Im not close to it as I was....

 

I think the Mods need specifics and then go from there.....we are commenting on an unknown situation

 

btw .. Im just talking from a MFC person basis .. meaning ... I know lots of people and often ask why people are not posting and Im getting more and more the same answers

 

Its a balance of not changing a winning team . which is what the MFC is and trying to understand pinks comments for example

 

Tis very hard to comment when they're vague incidents... SPECIFICS PEOPLE!

 

I was thinking just the same Christine. Mika downtime can be really tricky on MFC! I'm thinking I could do with a break too. Hard though that will be...

 

Although I can't spend as much time on here as I think I do because I wasn't really aware of the people leaving due to the 'tone' problems...

 

We've had this discussion before, though, and nothing ever seems to improve long term. Perhaps this is a defeatist attitude but, that's internet forums for you..they are not perfect and mirror real life in many ways, including the unpleasant ways.

 

Perhaps if people just asked for clarification if they feel they are being attacked, it would help. If someone has unintentionally caused offence they are usually only too happy to set the record straight and clarify, or apologise. If they don't, or won't, then all I can suggest is to politely avoid that person in future if they are upsetting you. Which is what happens in real life isn't it?

 

That would ease a lot of problems and misunderstandings... if only people asked if they weren't sure what someone else said...

 

What is going on with EnFa? I miss her and have been thinking about her all weekend. Is she okay at least?

 

 

 

I feel exactly the same as I've been caught up in the gig reports and don't really pay attention to the larger group dynamic. That's why I'd make a terrible mod because I just want to focus on the things that interest me and not be concerned with everything else going on around here.

 

I'm just not sure why everyone else doesn't do the same though. If there is a debate going on and you find that kind of thing negative and argumentative, just don't read it.

 

It's a good thing you're not Christine!

[Suzy]

Yes! This forum for the most part is generally a really friendly place! It makes it even harder for me to see anything negative because I have met over 50 people here in REAL LIFE! From Canada, USA, the UK, Italy, Belgium, France, Netherlands, Spain, Hungary, Finland... and the list goes on...and these people are AWESOME! And these can be the same people that might "ignore" my posts!

 

Even though I've been here a long time, and many are familiar with who I am, I get "ignored" on some of my posts. But "ignored" doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. Yes it is nice to see your post "quoted" because it gives you a sense of being acknowledged, but I often enter mid-way into an already established discussion and I understand why. Also, I think about my own behaviour and I often don't "quote" many posts that I've read and found interesting because it was pages ago....and the discussion topic has changed. Or, I don't quote because it feels like I'm committing to a discussion with someone and I am really just lurking because I'm in the middle of making dinner or I'm at work and I'd feel rude just to have to leave in the middle of it all....

 

I know this point I'm making is not the gist of the this thread, but I thought I'd voice a perspective on legitimate reasons for feeling "ignored".

[nico_collard]

Part 2...

 

However, I think it is important that this issue has at least been yelled out to the whole MFC.

 

For about the 3rd time in about 5 months...

 

Sorry for being pessimistic, but it gets better for a bit, then goes back... we need to remember that there are a lot of people from all over the world here...

 

Of sorry Fred you were talking to us?

 

Aerm... I wouldn't close.

I'm not for closing unless it's really necessary.

Pinkunicorn had the balls to state out loud what most people think, so why blame her?

I'd rather have a good argument and see things be settled once for all, than watch this "bad mood" infiltrate all threads on MFC and get to a stage where nothing can be done anymore.

 

I am therefore not closing.

Ask some other mod

 

Don't look at me...

 

What is behind it?

A collection of incidents i have seen and overlooked over a long long period.

The fact that FOUR members saw it fit to contact me personally over the last 48hrs saying that they only felt comfortable coming to me and not a more senior member for a variety of reasons including not wanting to cause trouble, because they were relitavely 'new' and did not want to cross the line with respected members and that apparently i am lovely and brilliant and always know the right thing to say.

I mean ofcourse they all must be lying if that is their opinion of me, but i thought i would open this anyway just to be sure...

 

No, in all seriousness, i am not willing to betray trust by discussing who these members were, but i have witnessed this happening before and i am not one to stand by and not afraid of a little trouble, as i am sure you can see.

 

This might come across as blunt and slightly bitchy... but we can't do anything about it if people aren't prepared to talk to us... simple...

 

But can't you at least send a PM to the mods with the threads in question so they can have some indication of where problems may exist even if they don't know who is making the complaint?

 

These threads that make vague references to conflict don't effect any change because 99% of us never know what the problem is and therefore can't possibly correct it or avoid it in the future.

 

I agree... PM, because we can't help if people won't tell us... and being vague when you do doesn't help either.

 

Well im sorry, but i wont do that.

If it was one person, then okay, some incidents are 'one offs' but it was the fact that it was FOUR! Four within such a small amount of time.

For some reason they wouldn't come to you, and so why would i pass that information on?

 

Because we can't so anything if they won't tell us... you can't help, so I fail to see how telling you but refusing to tell us does anything...

 

I wasn't looking for names of people who contacted you, I

was looking for instances that you observed. Obviously you

feel you can't point to anything without giving away the

individuals... which is unfortunate, because then how can I

or the other moderators do anything about it?

 

I'm troubled that these members felt more comfortable going to

you instead of a moderator whose responsibility it is to

moderate the forum... I don't know how to be any more

welcoming or nicer than I am, but I guess I have to work on

my people skills.

 

dcdeb

 

Maybe we all need to Deb...

 

No so much brave as a lack of a moral compass

 

I hope no one found that statement rude, that was not the intention.

The idea being that if it was an issue i had, i am big enough and ugly enough (as the saying goes) to deal with it appropriately.

These guys has a reason for coming to me, why would i jeopardise that level of trust by passing on confidential information.

I would have no problems in giving you examples of the concerns drawn....if i could remember them.

I think half of the mfc if not all of those who have contributed to various MM project know how fragile my memory is...i read alot of posts, even if my replies are restricted to certain others, i couldnt narrow it down.

Sorry!

 

Not overly helpful... It's not as if you're telling the whole forum, it's the mods... we understand if people want to keep it quiet..

 

We had a wee bit of a brawl in the Midway State projects thread last night.. Taylor called Melanie rude because it seemed like she was being a bit snappy and then it all blew up It was really stupid!

 

I assume no-one bothered to tell the mods...

 

I agree with both of your points.

Since i made this thread i have have 16 others (ontop of the original 4) contact me saying they they are so glad and proud (?!?!) that someone was brave enough to make the thread and that they wished they were equally brave enough to post in it, but that they wanted me to know how happy they were and how much they agreed.

 

It seems strange to me that these people would not go to senior members of the site - if not extremely concerning.

 

Might i suggest an email address that members could contact anonymously.

Obviously with PMs there is a username attatched, where as with an email address, moderators could still respond to complaints without members feeling embarrassed. Free email accounts are all over the web that members could use if they do not want to email from their actual address.

 

Just a thought.

 

How could we respond to complaints without knowing who the complaint is about?

 

So if someone has a real problem, I don't see why (s)he doesn't want to tell us. We don't bite, do we? (Ok, Deb does, but only at full moon )

 

*giggles*

 

She never thinks about what she writes, she just writes. Compared to sp many other places, this is a very nice place. Anyways, she's not going to be all evil and nasty, when she's not 100% anonymous.

 

Personally, she hasn't experienced any kinds of rudeness. Like, no snide remarks or so. She actually quite likes this forum. Maybe she has offended some people, but EnFa doesn't come in a woolen package. She says that she has only had a few angry PMs about random bs.

 

I like the fact she's talking about herself in the third person...

 

For me and my experience, there have been people who seem to go out of their way to just dissprove something...It can be anything "The sky is blue"

"Actually , melanie...it's turqouise"

 

Some people have had nothing postive to say to me... I never want to argue, but when it comes to giving my opinion...people just don't want to hear it

 

Well let's put it this way... a lot of people who disagree with your opinions tend to be the older (and in some ways cynical) members...

 

 

But they do like your youthful optimism...

[nico_collard]

Last one...

 

Whoa - a girl can miss a lot in two weeks!

 

I spent the last two weeks in California, planning my wedding then chasing Mika up the west coast. My Internet access was limited to hotel Wi-fi and airport access, so I stuck mostly to the concert review and news sections when I could get on. But, now I'm back, and therefore will add my two cents to this (although the other moddies, not to mention other members, have done well at expressing their thoughts).

 

1) The tone of MFC

 

Guys, this isn't really news. I've been here close to a year, and every once in a while, someone is taken aback by the change in tone and posts a thread about it. The MFC is a dynamic and evolving place, and there will be changes as that evolution takes place. New members will arrive, old ones will fade away, and that's natural. It saddens me to think, though, that members are leaving because they don't like what they find on here - but without the members in question trying to better the problems they see, our hands are truly tied. In terms of "overall tone" - I think its expected that people conduct themselves with a basic undertone of respect, but beyond that, "tone" - in the absence of specific examples - is a hard thing to control. We truly do our best, but in some cases it boils down to a simple case of personalities that don't mix. It's like real life in that way - sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is just move on to other parts of the forum, and give the person you take issue with a wide berth.

 

2) Open dialogue with the mods

 

Moderating this forum, with as much traffic as it gets, is a big job. We don't expect medals and marching bands for our efforts, but we really hope its understood that we can't be in every thread at every moment.

 

All members have the ability to report posts they take issue with, or to PM any of us if there's something going on here that you are not pleased with. There's no way I can promise that we will necessarily agree with any given member - as best as humanly possible, we try to look at each situation objectively and step in with a fair hand when necessary.

 

I'm not sure why certain members felt more comfortable contacting Pink than any of us - maybe us mods need to brainstorm new ways to ensure the lines of communication are open and amicable.

 

What I can promise is that anyone who contacts a mod (to voice a concern, or otherwise) will be listened to, treated with respect, and can be assured that their privacy will be respected - no matter how big or small the issue. No one needs to feel embarrassed or fear being punished in any way for bringing up a concern. The worst case scenario is that we see things in a different light, and do our best to try and explain to the member why we see things as we do.

 

3) Local slang and other terms

 

A smaller issue, it seems, compared to the others - but I disagree with trying to avoid uber-casual dialogue and regional slang. I admit that I'm looking at this from the perspective of a native English speaker, but I find the local nuances to be one of the MFCs shining points. Without this site, I'd have no clue what it meant to "get in a strop" or what "wuschel" refers to. This site is a global community, and I love the mosaic aspect to us.

 

*huggles Mana*

 

I agree with everything...

 

I know what you mean, i've experienced that too.

 

And also something similar i've noticed is some peoples need to be sarcastic in every single post - don't wear it out guys!! It's funny sometimes, but really most of the time there is just no need for it.

 

A good example was Vanessa's 30 000 post celebration thread last night. Ok, yeah, have a little bit of a laugh, but to carry it on in about 5 other posts and not even say well done to the member (which was generally what the thread was created for!) was unecessary.

 

30 000 posts??? Whoa...

 

Thanks for you comments newbie

 

*cough*

 

She has a name you know!

[pinkunicorn123]

Im glad to see that the 'energy' (not really the right word) in this thread has died down to make way for some genuine and predominantly sensible comments.

*goes back to read*

[Petra]

For about the 3rd time in about 5 months...

 

Sorry for being pessimistic, but it gets better for a bit, then goes back... we need to remember that there are a lot of people from all over the world here...

 

 

 

Maybe but I have never experienced it like that . If we didn't shout this out loudly from time to time, it would probably only get worse and worse until we end up in chaos.

 

(Hell, you've been busy.)