I wish Mika were openly gay

[miek]

I've always been fascinated by this whole role model thing.

Why do people feel they need one?

And if they absolutely do, why a celeb, since 95% of the time, they are screwed up individuals, who themselves are looking for something to make sense of their own problems and insecurities?

I can't say I have ever looked for a role model to make me feel better about myself, because I know that there really isn't anyone out there, who can do that.

The only person who can do it, is yourself.

Because everyone is an indiviual, no two people are alike. So looking to someone else, even if they have similar traits, characteristics, insecurities etc. will only be like putting a Band Aid on a bulletwound. It won't really help you, it's just a quick fix solution.

For myself, I identify with Mika for the bullying he went through. Although mine wasn't as severe, it was just as traumatic for me. But I don't look on him as my role model because of it, just some one who was in the same boat as me.

I survived it, he survived it, like millions of others who go through it everyday. But at the time I never looked for someone to aspire too, to get me through it. I managed to do that myself, because I felt it was for me to do that.

Not that I don't think people in that position shouldn't ask for help and get that help. Just not look to one particular person for inspiration, as there are so many people out there in the same boat, that you can get it from, as a group. That's how I got through it knowing I wasn't alone.

That's why I don't see that Mika, if he is gay, coming out, should make a difference to any of his gay fans.

You are your own person, you shouldn't look to famous people to aspire to as far as your sexuality goes. Having a celeb as a role model, isn't going to change how people see you.

Only you can do that, if you really want it.

 

That is so true! But celebs can be inspiring to change yourself though. But you still have to do it yourself.

[Naectegale]

I've always been fascinated by this whole role model thing.

Why do people feel they need one?

And if they absolutely do, why a celeb, since 95% of the time, they are screwed up individuals, who themselves are looking for something to make sense of their own problems and insecurities?

 

I agree with most of what you say - I've only deleted some to save space:thumb_yello:

 

I think it is more an issue of "background noise" rather than the need to have an individual role model. I grew up in a world where white men seemed to have all the important roles on TV, in the movies, in politics and business, and they all seemed to have adoring complacent wives.

 

The equality battle hasn't yet been won, but at least now we can see women, ethnic minorities and gay people in all walks of life, and it says to young people "if they can succeed, I can too". This is particularly important to gay people because of the nature of the prejudice they face, and the fact that public gay people can hide their sexuality to get on (and traditionally have in the past). I am glad this is changing slowly and that many more famous gay people can be open about it.

 

But that doesn't mean Mika should be pressured on this issue - he must do what is right for him.

[Romis]

I agree with N. I'd rather he not be labeled!

 

and I'm hoping he's not really gay because then all his girl fans would be sad. jkjk.

 

 

????

 

I'm a girl and I wouldn't be sad at all. I don't see why we have to be sad! He's HAPPY the way he is anyway. Don't we want him to be smiling and happy?

 

Also, I'm not trying to marry him

 

He wants us to be close to the answer, I think (IMO). There's people here that already knows. I guess it'll be more like he will gave us hints little by little instead of a declaration

 

As far as we have seen, he could be gay, straight, bi and a couple of possibilities in the middle. Depends on what we see today, tomorrow we can see something different. I really like something Marianne wrote in the Picture Captions thread. It was something like that:

 

"Some say I might be gay, or straight, some other say I might be bi, but I know what I am since the age of seven...I AM GOLDEN"

[Romis]

The equality battle hasn't yet been won, but at least now we can see women, ethnic minorities and gay people in all walks of life, and it says to young people "if they can succeed, I can too". This is particularly important to gay people because of the nature of the prejudice they face, and the fact that public gay people can hide their sexuality to get on (and traditionally have in the past). I am glad this is changing slowly and that many more famous gay people can be open about it.

 

But that doesn't mean Mika should be pressured on this issue - he must do what is right for him.

I see the difference in that some time ago people hide that because the fear of not being accepted, but gay people I know today doesn't talk about it because they don't want to or they think it's not important to reveal that to all the people they know. My gay friends, they have a lot of friends or college mates who doesn't know about their condition, and if some day they feel like doing it, they tell the other person: "I don't know if you noticed but actually I'm gay". And the other person says: "Oh, really? I didn't know that" or "yes, I suspected that, I'm glad to know". In fact, one of my friends took for granted I knew but I didn't but it's just like a other things about yourself you only tell your friends or people you trust

[violet_sky]

I've always been fascinated by this whole role model thing.

Why do people feel they need one?

And if they absolutely do, why a celeb, since 95% of the time, they are screwed up individuals, who themselves are looking for something to make sense of their own problems and insecurities? ...

You are your own person, you shouldn't look to famous people to aspire to as far as your sexuality goes. Having a celeb as a role model, isn't going to change how people see you.

Only you can do that, if you really want it.

 

I think this is a great post. Every now and then we have to remember that we're individuals. What bugs me bigtime about the gay/not gay/openly gay/whatever discussion is the whole reducing people to just one feature.

 

Besides, this is very political. I hate that 'are you one of us or one of them' approach. It's not one bit better than making decisions on skin colour. Every human being is the sum of their features and experiences, how can we pick a single attribute and pretend we know everything about the person according to that? It's impossible.

[Naectegale]

I think this is a great post. Every now and then we have to remember that we're individuals. What bugs me bigtime about the gay/not gay/openly gay/whatever discussion is the whole reducing people to just one feature.

 

Besides, this is very political. I hate that 'are you one of us or one of them' approach. It's not one bit better than making decisions on skin colour. Every human being is the sum of their features and experiences, how can we pick a single attribute and pretend we know everything about the person according to that? It's impossible.

 

Well said

[suzie]

I really like something Marianne wrote in the Picture Captions thread. It was something like that:

 

"Some say I might be gay, or straight, some other say I might be bi, but I know what I am since the age of seven...I AM GOLDEN"

...that is actually the point of the song. There is more to define a person than their real or perceived sexual identity. I think the song is empowering listener not to let the outside world make them conform or interfere with their own ambitions

[Christine]

I don't think its a coincidence that the "you can just tell" brigade were brought out in force by a video where he's dancing.

 

For me there is no correlation at all. And if there is for others, I think it has nothing to do with the fact that he dances but how he dances. I would have never labelled an INXS video gay and Michael Hutchence danced in a way that Mika only dreams of.

 

Otherwise you're pretty much expanding on what I said. (Except I think he dances well in both the WAG and the Love Today videos.).

 

That is the magic of editing! That is why I've always though Love Today was his best video even though fans have argued that it doesn't have the same artistic merit as other videos. Quick edits made him look less awkward than he did dancing in Grace Kelly or on stage and IMO the entire purpose of music videos is to make the artist look cool. That's what sells music on the visual side of things.

 

I have certainly never suggested he is naive or doesn't know exactly what people are going to think- it surprises me that you think I would.

 

That was not aimed at you in particular but the sense I was getting in the WAG thread from people who think that Mika is just being his innocent little Mika self and it's outrageous to interpret his behaviour as gay because he never intended such a thing.

 

I know people label a set of behaviours "gay"- like they used to label some behaviours "feminine" or "unfeminine". What I'm saying is that the practice is unhelpful, mostly to straight men, and that if Mika is straight, he's more useful as a role model than if he's gay.

 

It doesn't matter whether it is helpful or unhelpful. It is what it is. This is how the public perceives the video and really I don't know anyone but a very tiny percentage of Mika fans who don't perceive it that way. Every Mika fan I spoke to directly on the day commented on it and said they were getting that exact reaction from anyone they showed it to.

 

I don't see any harm in discussing what the majority of people are already thinking.

 

The way to keep your relationships out of the press seems to be to avoid (at least in public) screaming rows, drunken crying jags, and slobbering over each other. Announcing you're gay doesn't seem to affect press coverage at all.

 

I agree with this and don't mean to imply that Mika's sexual orientation per se is a reason for the press to hound him. But at the time these questions were incessantly raised there was an overinterest in him and his personal life and he attempted to clamp down on all of it by refusing to talk about any of it. Including his sexual orientation.

 

Now that people are off his back (relatively speaking), now is not the time for him to draw attention to his personal life by revealing a significant aspect of it, IMO. I mean assuming that he wants to continue to keep his private life private as it sounds like he does.

 

And you're right if his announcement was that he was straight he would probably have even more problems on that front than announcing he's gay. There is already enough attention focused on him when he is seen with Katy Perry or Adele and if people thought there was a reasonable chance he was dating them it would spark even more interest.

 

The "permeating his songs" bit seems important to me. Mika's sexuality has so far been kept out of his- which makes them refreshing, but I'd still like to see the effect of more openness in his songwriting.

 

I would too but there are a lot of things I'd like to see Mika do artistically and musically that he may never do. What I want and what Mika wants are often not the same things. He has some specific ideas about pop music and his way of presenting it and I don't know if him being open about his sexual orientation is necessarily going to change it.

 

This is not directed at you, but generally about comments that this is 2007 all over again. I am noticing a significant difference to 2007 even in YouTube video comments. Now it seems the reaction to Mika or his work being called gay is more often than not "Yeah he/it may be, so what? He's still great."

 

I find this refreshing to the excessive defensiveness, denial and anger we saw so often in 2007 which just smacked of homophobia to me, as if being gay was some awful accusation that needed to be rebuked.

[FREDDIESDOUBLE]

I take back everything I've said recently about sharing opinions on a public forum in a friendly way and hope this thread will disappear as fast as it was created.

 

 

If this is Mika's official fan club forum, I want threads to be approved by DA MIKA before they appear on line. And this is my official opinion on the matter.

Sire, feel free to slap me publicly or privately. *makes curtsey*

 

 

Now I'm off to lunch before I eat the keyboard out of anger.

 

I was going to ignore this as I actually think the thread is flowing well and compared to a few years its a nice discussion point.

 

So do you think Mika really has the time or can be bothered to check every thread before its posted , pleaseeeee come on ...

 

This is such an issue amongst some , that they think Mika runs the MFC .. he owns and therefore he bought it when a system was in place that he liked ... if it was some grotty nasty forum (that I often see across the net) then he would of ran well away from it , never mind put it on Mikasounds!!

 

The MFC is sweet cotton candy compared to what is out there , we are all Mika fans end of the day , Im as obsessive as most ... so why would you want to eat the keyboard and want Mika to check every thread.

[Romis]

Has anyone ever felt the need to tell everyone they were openly straight?

 

I did Some people assume I'm not, and in a certain extent it's my fault. I'm ambiguous too.

Edited August 11, 2009 by Romis

[lala_lollies44]

Has anyone ever felt the need to tell everyone they were openly straight?

 

I have. :teehee:People at school always think that I am a lesbian. I have no idea why.

[vixenbbw]

I think Freddie illustrates my point that people shouldn't have to "declare" their sexuality & that it is not a clear-cut issue. For Freddie there was a (visible to his friends) shift from "straight" to "gay" but it was never straightforward - was he genuinly straight or just confused or just experimenting? how far did he shift? If he was gay, why did he have so strong a relationship with Mary Austen that he left her the bulk of his estate? Only Freddie could say what his instincts and motivations were at any given time in his life, and even then he may not have been certain himself.

 

Sticking simple labels on complex people is a waste of time.

 

Oh, how I agree!!!!

[RAK1]

I have. :teehee:People at school always think that I am a lesbian. I have no idea why.

 

I used to get that, and got fed up with it after a while. Like it matters.

It seems more important to other people, than it does to me.

[laura*]

 

That was not aimed at you in particular but the sense I was getting in the WAG thread from people who think that Mika is just being his innocent little Mika self and it's outrageous to interpret his behaviour as gay because he never intended such a thing.

 

It doesn't matter whether it is helpful or unhelpful. It is what it is. This is how the public perceives the video and really I don't know anyone but a very tiny percentage of Mika fans who don't perceive it that way. Every Mika fan I spoke to directly on the day commented on it and said they were getting that exact reaction from anyone they showed it to.

 

I don't see any harm in discussing what the majority of people are already thinking.

 

I agree with this and don't mean to imply that Mika's sexual orientation per se is a reason for the press to hound him. But at the time these questions were incessantly raised there was an overinterest in him and his personal life and he attempted to clamp down on all of it by refusing to talk about any of it. Including his sexual orientation.

 

Now that people are off his back (relatively speaking), now is not the time for him to draw attention to his personal life by revealing a significant aspect of it, IMO. I mean assuming that he wants to continue to keep his private life private as it sounds like he does.

 

And you're right if his announcement was that he was straight he would probably have even more problems on that front than announcing he's gay. There is already enough attention focused on him when he is seen with Katy Perry or Adele and if people thought there was a reasonable chance he was dating them it would spark even more interest.

 

 

 

I would too but there are a lot of things I'd like to see Mika do artistically and musically that he may never do. What I want and what Mika wants are often not the same things. He has some specific ideas about pop music and his way of presenting it and I don't know if him being open about his sexual orientation is necessarily going to change it.

 

This is not directed at you, but generally about comments that this is 2007 all over again. I am noticing a significant difference to 2007 even in YouTube video comments. Now it seems the reaction to Mika or his work being called gay is more often than not "Yeah he/it may be, so what? He's still great."

 

I find this refreshing to the excessive defensiveness, denial and anger we saw so often in 2007 which just smacked of homophobia to me, as if being gay was some awful accusation that needed to be rebuked.

 

I still have the feeling that you're not stating your opinion, but telling people how to interpret things. You know I disagree with you, but this is not my point.

 

I really find it offensive that people on this forum feel free to discuss a man's private life as if it were their own, as if they knew about it. What's more, this man has always stated that he wants to keep his private life private. Even though this sounds a bit repetitive, most fans can't get the gist of his words.

I think we can only discuss what he has already talked about.

There are guidelines on this forum. In my opinion the title of this thread is a bit biased.

I see that it is really hard for a lot af fans to make a distinction between the man and the artist. I really feel angry because of this. I'm a classical pianist, not a professional one, but anyway I've spent half of my existence alone at the piano. On this forum there are people who know nothing about music and about being a musician. If I were a concert pianist sweating 10 hours a day to give the audience a great performance, I would feel hurt by such comments.

 

I was going to ignore this as I actually think the thread is flowing well and compared to a few years its a nice discussion point.

 

So do you think Mika really has the time or can be bothered to check every thread before its posted , pleaseeeee come on ...

 

This is such an issue amongst some , that they think Mika runs the MFC .. he owns and therefore he bought it when a system was in place that he liked ... if it was some grotty nasty forum (that I often see across the net) then he would of ran well away from it , never mind put it on Mikasounds!!

 

The MFC is sweet cotton candy compared to what is out there , we are all Mika fans end of the day , Im as obsessive as most ... so why would you want to eat the keyboard and want Mika to check every thread.

 

Changing the guidelines would do. You know. The mods follow the guidelines and are supposed to make people follow them.

If you open a thread on a "forbidden" topic, the thread will be deleted and its author banned for a certain amount of time. If you imply in a post that the artist is gay, no MFC tickets for you. Easy. Screw democracy!

I'm sorry, but I feel really involved in all this. If I were a performer and I had a fan club where people say that I'm asexual because I've been single for a long time, I would ban people from the forum. I'm not joking. And I would also have a very poor opinion of my own fans. I would feel hurt and disappointed.

I wish Mika knew how to order people around without feeling bad about it.

 

 

Once again, Sire, feel free to slap me. *makes another curtsey*

[lala_lollies44]

I used to get that, and got fed up with it after a while. Like it matters.

It seems more important to other people, than it does to me.

 

Yeah, I get tired of being asked, but the fact that I'm not offended by their assumptions always confuses people for some reason. They ask me, I say no, they apologize, I say it's no big deal, and they look at me like:shocked: and ask if I'm sure I'm not a lesbian. Apparantly, if you're not gay, you're supposed to get offended if people think you are. :rolls_eyes:

[RAK1]

I still have the feeling that you're not stating your opinion, but telling people how to interpret things. You know I disagree with you, but this is not my point.

 

I really find it offensive that people on this forum feel free to discuss a man's private life as if it were their own, as if they knew about it. What's more, this man has always stated that he wants to keep his private life private. Even though this sounds a bit repetitive, most fans can't get the gist of his words.

I think we can only discuss what he has already talked about.

There are guidelines on this forum. In my opinion the title of this thread is a bit biased.

I see that it is really hard for a lot af fans to make a distinction between the man and the artist. I really feel angry because of this. I'm a classical pianist, not a professional one, but anyway I've spent half of my existence alone at the piano. On this forum there are people who know nothing about music and about being a musician. If I were a concert pianist sweating 10 hours a day to give the audience a great performance, I would feel hurt by such comments.

 

 

 

Changing the guidelines would do. You know. The mods follow the guidelines and are supposed to make people follow them.

If you open a thread on a "forbidden" topic, the thread will be deleted and its author banned for a certain amount of time. If you imply in a post that the artist is gay, no MFC tickets for you. Easy. Screw democracy!

I'm sorry, but I feel really involved in all this. If I were a performer and I had a fan club where people say that I'm asexual because I've been single for a long time, I would ban people from the forum. I'm not joking. And I would also have a very poor opinion of my own fans. I would feel hurt and disappointed.

I wish Mika knew how to order people around without feeling bad about it.

 

 

Once again, Sire, feel free to slap me. *makes another curtsey*

 

This thread, is mild compared to the original thread from 2007!

And Mika bought the forum, DESPITE that.

I think if he'd had a problem with the subject being bought up, he wouldn't have touched us with a barge pole!

And this thread isn't saying he should say, one way or the other. It's asking would he consider the possibility, to be a role model for his gay fans, if he were.

I think this is quite a constructive thread, compared to the other one.

[Christine]

I really find it offensive that people on this forum feel free to discuss a man's private life as if it were their own, as if they knew about it. What's more, this man has always stated that he wants to keep his private life private. Even though this sounds a bit repetitive, most fans can't get the gist of his words.

 

Who here is discussing Mika's private life?

 

The topic was started by someone wishing Mika was openly gay. As Blue Sky has pointed out some of us wish that Mika was our own age or that he made regular visits to our house for tea. Making such declarations has nothing to do with any facts about Mika's private life.

 

I see that it is really hard for a lot af fans to make a distinction between the man and the artist.

 

I am noticing the same thing since some people are assuming that discussion about Mika's video (i.e. his work) being gay is somehow an invasion of his private life.

 

If you open a thread on a "forbidden" topic, the thread will be deleted and its author banned for a certain amount of time. If you imply in a post that the artist is gay, no MFC tickets for you. Easy. Screw democracy!

 

And why would we want to do that? So that Mika should not feel offended by comments that are not directed at him because you think he should feel offended?

 

You are projecting your own feelings onto him. His actions speak for themselves. He is perfectly aware of the kinds of things that are discussed in this forum and not only does he permit it, he said just last week that he is proud of the fan club.

 

It is not for you to judge and to decide unilaterally what should or shouldn't be discussed here or to speak on Mika's behalf.

[Marilyn Mastin]

Totally agree

Exactly what I think!

I was so upset when I read that interview from the German mag. From what he said, it seems that, despite his showmanship on stage and his talent at singing and songwriting, he is terribly insecure and he is so afraid of getting rejected and hurt that he hasn't the courage to reach out to someone. I only hope there is someone (and I don't care whether it's a man or a woman) who can give him the love I am sure he's crying out for.

The only trouble is, for me, that when I hear that song 'I See You' on the album, I'm going to sob my eyeballs out because I know it is exactly what Mika is feeling, that he put into the song. That poor lonely boy!

[IngievV]

I can see where the gays are coming from when they want him to 'come out' because as an already condemned group it must be tough when someone appears gay but doesn't want to disclose his sexuality.

 

But I honestly support him if he wants to keep it a mystery. That's his call. He explained why he does it and that is good enough for me. I never understood the whole rolemodel thing anyway. Because usually when someone is classified as a rolemodel, it means that people want to be like that person. But to me that only surpresses individuality. Why does a proud openly gay have to be famous per se to set a good example for the rest of the world and the community. Yes they have more exposure, I can see that. But I think that generally when a (famous) straight guy supports gay guys openly it has more effect because then other straight man think "Oh if Brad Pitt supports gays, then maybe being gay is not bad." I have many gay friends, as a matter of fact one of my best friends is gay and I've never heard him say anything like 'I wish Mika would say he was gay to set an example for the rest of the community.' Simply because he knows that he can also make a difference himself by being proud of who he is.

 

Yes, if he says that he is gay, many of the 'fangurls' might go away. But maybe they weren't into his music that much anyway, just the image.

 

For me the most important thing is that he is happy with himself and his own choices. Because the hardest thing to do for anyone is go to sleep at night and regret everything you've done, just because you allowed people to push you in a corner.

[IngievV]

I still have the feeling that you're not stating your opinion, but telling people how to interpret things. You know I disagree with you, but this is not my point.

 

I really find it offensive that people on this forum feel free to discuss a man's private life as if it were their own, as if they knew about it. What's more, this man has always stated that he wants to keep his private life private. Even though this sounds a bit repetitive, most fans can't get the gist of his words.

I think we can only discuss what he has already talked about.

There are guidelines on this forum. In my opinion the title of this thread is a bit biased.

I see that it is really hard for a lot af fans to make a distinction between the man and the artist. I really feel angry because of this. I'm a classical pianist, not a professional one, but anyway I've spent half of my existence alone at the piano. On this forum there are people who know nothing about music and about being a musician. If I were a concert pianist sweating 10 hours a day to give the audience a great performance, I would feel hurt by such comments.

 

 

 

Changing the guidelines would do. You know. The mods follow the guidelines and are supposed to make people follow them.

If you open a thread on a "forbidden" topic, the thread will be deleted and its author banned for a certain amount of time. If you imply in a post that the artist is gay, no MFC tickets for you. Easy. Screw democracy!

I'm sorry, but I feel really involved in all this. If I were a performer and I had a fan club where people say that I'm asexual because I've been single for a long time, I would ban people from the forum. I'm not joking. And I would also have a very poor opinion of my own fans. I would feel hurt and disappointed.

I wish Mika knew how to order people around without feeling bad about it.

 

 

Once again, Sire, feel free to slap me. *makes another curtsey*

 

I know that in 2007 this was a forbidden topic. But why actually? Because Mika refuses to disclose it we can't talk about it? To me saying it's a forbidden topic actually means you repulsive the idea of the possibility that he is gay and thus do not wish to discuss it. I'm not saying this is happening in your case but it does come across to me as that.

[xlindee]

Sigh. I can't even be bothered to read this whole thread:naughty:

 

Anyways, people just have to respect his choice. If he wants to come out he probably will do that. If he doesn't..well, too bad.

 

@Laura's post: Wow, that's pretty harsh.

 

I've got the feeling Mika doesn't mind us discussing his sexuality, I mean, other people do so too, it's logic! Mods don't mind it either, so..

 

But wait, of course I can't say this, cause now people will jump on me telling me I don't know what Mika feels or thinks.

 

I also just think that if you can't handle it if he were gay or bi or asexual for that matter, you are here for the wrong reasons anyway. I thought people became fans because of the music. But boy, am I wrong.

Edited August 11, 2009 by xlindee

[CazGirl]

I was so upset when I read that interview from the German mag. From what he said, it seems that, despite his showmanship on stage and his talent at singing and songwriting, he is terribly insecure and he is so afraid of getting rejected and hurt that he hasn't the courage to reach out to someone. I only hope there is someone (and I don't care whether it's a man or a woman) who can give him the love I am sure he's crying out for.

The only trouble is, for me, that when I hear that song 'I See You' on the album, I'm going to sob my eyeballs out because I know it is exactly what Mika is feeling, that he put into the song. That poor lonely boy!

 

Same... I know this song is really going to touch me and that I'll probably want to go up on stage when sings it, face streaming with tears and want to bear hug him

[IngievV]

I have. :teehee:People at school always think that I am a lesbian. I have no idea why.

 

Haha I had that problem too at school, they thought I was lesbian but I didn't care. Why would I? It's not like if it was the truth it would be a bad thing.

 

 

Besides all that yadayada about his private life, discussing if he's gay or not doesn't seem like invading his private life to me. Trying to figure out who he screws tonight is.

[kath]

deep down i think we all want to know, but the end of the day who cares we love mika for who and what he does. im gay too but not alot of my friends dont know as i think its my life and what i like. we are in 2009 not 1809.

 

I really, seriously Don't.

[CazGirl]

I really, seriously Don't.

 

Same. I'm quite happy imagining "the life of Mika" in my head rather than know what really happens behind closed doors. It's his business not mine.