violet_sky Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I like so much what you wrote... It's part of the attraction of MFC for me: someone can always express more or less the same thing I feel but cannot find the right words for. Thank you:thumb_yello: Aw, thanks. Although I don't believe you the 'cannot find the right words' bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lena Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 It's worrisome when people do not understand the difference between feelings they have for someone they've never met and feelings that people have for people they have actual relationships with. The difference between loving Mika and loving a lover is that you don't actually have a relationship with Mika. It's possible to feel many powerful things for a person you've never met because that person could look beautiful and say intelligent and funny things and be talented. You can care about that person's feelings and think you want to be with person. All of those feelings are lovely and valid and nobody should say otherwise. But don't mistake those feelings for being the same as the feelings that develop from actually having a relationship with someone. They feel similar, but are not the same at all. It's completely different when the other person loves you back. Mika genuinely cares about his fans in the way that compassionate people care about others, but he doesn't know any of us well enough to love us back. It's normal to feel pain when your crushes start dating other people because it shatters the dream world you built up around the person. It's healthy to be able to cope with life without those dreams and to be happy for the person you care about. If you can't be happy for the person when he falls in love, it's possible you never cared about his feelings and only ever cared about the way he made you feel. That isn't love. That's fandom. Nobody has the right to estimate feelings of a person, feel is the presents or is not, whether he loves or he is the fan. It is necessary to climb in its skin and to feel it on itself. Where there is a side? I can tell, who such fan and who such loving. And everyone can tell it. But it will be only its personal opinion. Not an axiom. Therefore do not speak me that I am fandom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micafan Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I fancied a girl in my school for about three years and never told her how much I loved her, now I have just finished school and my chance has gone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zsina Posted August 24, 2009 Author Share Posted August 24, 2009 What you say is rational thinking but don't forget poets do not think in a rational way I also had my same internal fight with myself. For a long time I thought I did not classify as a 'fan' because I did not qualify for the 'obsessed' element.. Even on MFC I was keeping a relatively low profile because I thought I was an outsider. Actually, it wasn't until this summer that I actually realised that many people here pretty much share the same type of feeling towards Mika, and it is more like caring about him than doing anything obsessive. I like so much what you wrote... It's part of the attraction of MFC for me: someone can always express more or less the same thing I feel but cannot find the right words for. Thank you:thumb_yello: Yeah I agree, but...what do we consider obsessive? It's not so obvious. For ex, buying Mika a bday cake for his bday...is that obsessive? (I did NOT anyway...) but really...I wonder what we consider obsessive....we are all obesessed with the music.... Obviously praying God every night to let Mika marry us is obsessive....but where is the line between 'normal' and 'obsessive' fandom? This might be a stuid question and a never-ending 'argument' though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lena Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 What you say is rational thinking but don't forget poets do not think in a rational way : And eternal dreamers. Whom am I Probably, in it the reason, that anybody never understands me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zsina Posted August 24, 2009 Author Share Posted August 24, 2009 (edited) And eternal dreamers. Whom am IProbably, in it the reason, that anybody never understands me No, don't worry, your not to only one....John Lennon is with you, I am with you...and so do many other people. But dreaming is one thing. Taking it like it WAS reality is other. You have to draw that line between the two or you'll get crazy. Dreaming of Mika going to Russia is a good thing, it might come alive and it will be wonderful. But dreaming of Mika haveing no relationships, meeting you one day, falling in love with you is a wonderful DREAM, but it just not likely to come true. I don't wanna sound skeptic, dreaming is a wonderful thing, but it can be dangerous too. And I don't wanna sound like a wise guy telling you the truth and letting you down. I'm no wiser than anyone, I just thought I would let you know about my point of view about this. I like dreaming of Mika, and yes I admit, I could imagine holding his hand and introducing him as my boyfriend,he is the kind of guy I like, but I know that it's just a great dream, but not reality. I would even love to be of his friend coz he is a great guy. But he's not the only one..there ar eother guys I really like too. I'm not in love with him, but yeah we are allowed to fantasize aren't we? I always do this..sometimes with Meeks, sometimes with others... If Mika is the one for you, he will find you..and you shouldn't care with whom he was before, if he falls in love with you once. I hope the bests for you but don't be desperate please, it's no good for you! Edited August 24, 2009 by Zsina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riverstwilight Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 In fact, this place convinced me some, that 'fan' does not necessarily have to be a dirty word. Fanatic. Lunatic. Dangerous. Self-centered. No! I know you didn't mean it, but your statement above makes me feel like being a part of something wrong again. Wait. What? I in no way implied that there was anything wrong with being a fan. I simply said that there is differnce between being a fan and actually having a relationship with someone. There's nothing wrong with caring about someone you don't actually know. That's called compassion. It's a beautiful human trait. It's just important to not take it so far that you mistake it for a relationship. That leads to scary stalker behavior. What you say is rational thinking but don't forget poets do not think in a rational way You just said that to a poet. Being a poet and being driven by my passions does not give me license to abandon reason in favor of the fantasy that I have a meaningful relationship with someone, who I have never met, just because his voice makes me all tingly. Being a fan is a wonderful thing. Those loving feelings and that sense of attraction is very real. It's good to feel those things. This fan club is a place where we share that and celebrate it together. It only becomes a bad thing when people start to think that loving someone and feeling attracted to someone is the same thing as having a relationship with that person. It isn't the same thing at all. That was ALL I was saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lena Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 (edited) Yeah I agree, but...what do we consider obsessive? It's not so obvious. For ex, buying Mika a bday cake for his bday...is that obsessive? (I did NOT anyway...) but really...I wonder what we consider obsessive....we are all obesessed with the music....Obviously praying God every night to let Mika marry us is obsessive....but where is the line between 'normal' and 'obsessive' fandom? This might be a stuid question and a never-ending 'argument' though. I not prayed God that Mika married me. And.... I care of Him. As I can. I never wrote to Him of any word which could bad touch Him. And I want that He was happy. There are moments when I feel huge fear for Him. then I praying God, and I speak that I do not want anything for me, I agree even I will never see Mika but if only with Him was all good and He would be happy. Wait. What? I in no way implied that there was anything wrong with being a fan. I simply said that there is differnce between being a fan and actually having a relationship with someone. There's nothing wrong with caring about someone you don't actually know. That's called compassion. It's a beautiful human trait. It's just important to not take it so far that you mistake it for a relationship. That leads to scary stalker behavior. You just said that to a poet. Being a poet and being driven by my passions does not give me license to abandon reason in favor of the fantasy that I have a meaningful relationship with someone, who I have never met, just because his voice makes me all tingly. Being a fan is a wonderful thing. Those loving feelings and that sense of attraction is very real. It's good to feel those things. This fan club is a place where we share that and celebrate it together. It only becomes a bad thing when people start to think that loving someone and feeling attracted to someone is the same thing as having a relationship with that person. It isn't the same thing at all. That was ALL I was saying. " The person who is not having a relationship " it is not equivalent " the person not feeling love.Why it is necessary to qualify feelings, to divide them on true and not? Than it is bad and dangerous so-called stalker? " Improper on a physiognomy " (as speak in Russia), that means he has no suitable social status, and consequently unworthy attention of the star person. But if a person is not famous and will be an ordinary person, then this stalker will called unhappy in love and him will be sorry. I think, usual fans are more dangerous. At least, the some people. Who may not hesitate to expose on public review any photo which will find, not caring about feelings of the photographed person. Or try to get the new songs before all and to distribute to everything, showing the dexterity and killing works of the author. can , I am not consisted stalker, but I never shall make anything that could touch or wound Mika's feelings. Edited August 25, 2009 by Lena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Sorry to say this Lena, but you don't even know him. For all we know he could be a huge d*ckhead. It's not Mika you fell in love with, it's his image, and the way he always behaves in public and all. To hope he will be alone forever is kinda sad, cause for all we know he could be gay! And then? Then you still wouldn't make a chance. Dreaming isn't bad, but just don't take things too far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn Mastin Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 (edited) As someone who has been in fan clubs before this one (namely Star Trek and Beauty and the Beast fanclubs) I can say that fandem does indeed start out because you see someone you admire enough to want to know more about them and follow their work. But it turns into something more! It soon also becomes about the friendships and interactions you begin to have, with like minded people. People who understand if you say something like "Hey... Relax, take it easy!" Someone not a fan would just take that as a suggestion and nothing else, but a Mika fan would smile about it and understand. So it's all about the little codes which develop because of our shared love and admiration for the performer, and it's about the family which springs up. Eventually, yes we still love Mika, but now we love him not JUST because of his work, but because he's brought us all together and we wouldn't be together if it wasn't for him! So now we love him for what he gives to us (his voice, his music, his world of colourful characters that are so unique) but we also love him as the patriarch of our very special MFC family. And this is far more healthy, than obsessing about getting together with Mika and being devastated if he, one day, announces he's with such and such a person, and is getting married. As someone has said. We don't know what he's really like. We only get to see, what he wants us to see, and that could never be a basis for any relationship Edited August 25, 2009 by Marilyn Mastin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjappie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Ok, just listened to "Blame it on the Girls", and I think too this is too 'dancy'. But if thats not the worst, there's also RAIN. I loved the live verse, but this is just HORRIBLE. And yes, even though I've only heard 1 minute of each song, at the moment I consider LICM a better album. But lets sit back and wait until the second album will be released. It would be fairer to give an opinion when the time is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Well said Marilyn_Mastin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn Mastin Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Well said Marilyn_Mastin! Thanks for saying that. I get really upset and it I really does worry me when certain fans see Mika as the 'be all and end all' of their existance. I know how it feels to not have a boyfriend. I didn't meet my husband until I was 26, so I know how lonely a person can get when they see ther friends paired off and not thmselves. But I also know that it's wrong to invest all that excess of emotion in a pop star. For one thing, the chances of actually getting with him are zilch, and in focussing on someone like Mika, instead of getting out there and meeting people who could be potential partners, certain fans are not doing themselves any favours. Mika is wonderful to his fans, we couldn't wish for anyone better to become a fan of. No one should ever long for anything more from him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I also know how it feels. Even the most disgusting girl I know has a boyfriend. It's unbelievable. And yeah, the rest you said. I agree. What more can I add to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soaring Simpson Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Thanks for saying that. I get really upset and it I really does worry me when certain fans see Mika as the 'be all and end all' of their existance. I know how it feels to not have a boyfriend. I didn't meet my husband until I was 26, so I know how lonely a person can get when they see ther friends paired off and not thmselves. But I also know that it's wrong to invest all that excess of emotion in a pop star. For one thing, the chances of actually getting with him are zilch, and in focussing on someone like Mika, instead of getting out there and meeting people who could be potential partners, certain fans are not doing themselves any favours.Mika is wonderful to his fans, we couldn't wish for anyone better to become a fan of. No one should ever long for anything more from him :roftl: Hun, I'm 47 and never met anyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjappie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I also know how it feels.Even the most disgusting girl I know has a boyfriend. It's unbelievable. And yeah, the rest you said. I agree. What more can I add to this? What makes her disgusting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 What makes her disgusting? Please, I'm not gonna say that on a forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjappie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Please, I'm not gonna say that on a forum. Now you're making us curious. Spill it, or I'm gonna Mika it out of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Oh nothing. Just that she smells bad, is incredibly pushy and arrogant, and she's ugly (not that it's about looks of course, but still, you get the point:naughty:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjappie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Oh nothing. Just that she smells bad, is incredibly pushy and arrogant, and she's ugly (not that it's about looks of course, but still, you get the point:naughty:) Hmm... I have this girl on school, and she looks extremely sad. She claims to be a vegetarian but during breaks she eats meat and she wears Dracula teeth often. She smells bad too (garlic or so?) and its like she never brushes her teeth. When she speaks, all this white stuff is on her teeth everyday. Its pretty vulgar, yech. But she got a boyfriend. Never mind that he's low educated How man, I'm horrible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sookiee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 mmmmhhh.... i wonder why suddenly some people get a bit negative about TBWKTM (The Boy Who Know Too Much), if you dont like MIKA anymore .... its OK, sometimes happend, but dont spread your negativety.... we are the fans, we should be supportive if we dont defend MIKA, who? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjappie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 mmmmhhh.... i wonder why suddenly some people get a bit negative about TBWKTM (The Boy Who Know Too Much), if you dont like MIKA anymore .... its OK, sometimes happend, but dont spread your negativety.... we are the fans, we should be supportive if we dont defend MIKA, who? You're right I suppose, but I was just pretty disappointed about RAIN. At the moment I'm listening to the live verse of Rain, with piano only, and it sounds so beautiful. I think its a bit ruined with the dancy tune through it. I'm sorry to say this, but Mika is just like any other person, with a musical gift, but it doesn't mean he'll always make perfect songs. Even the best tomatoes can taste bad... But I won't let my hope ferry away; I'm still buying the album no matter what! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zsina Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 mmmmhhh.... i wonder why suddenly some people get a bit negative about TBWKTM (The Boy Who Know Too Much), if you dont like MIKA anymore .... its OK, sometimes happend, but dont spread your negativety.... we are the fans, we should be supportive if we dont defend MIKA, who? *calms down* We are allowed to critisize aren't we? We still love Mika, we just shared our opinions. I'm not ashamed to say it out loud. I don't like remixes and too computerisized (bad spelling I guess) things. I'm still supportive, I just shared my feelings. We don't SPREAD our negativity. I'm sorry and sad if you feel this way. Haha, I think I never got this angry on mfc before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlindee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Hmm... I have this girl on school, and she looks extremely sad. She claims to be a vegetarian but during breaks she eats meat and she wears Dracula teeth often. She smells bad too (garlic or so?) and its like she never brushes her teeth. When she speaks, all this white stuff is on her teeth everyday. Its pretty vulgar, yech. But she got a boyfriend. Never mind that he's low educated How man, I'm horrible Haha, that sounds pathetic. When ''my girl'' speaks, you'll almost faint. It smells sooo bad, and there's also food stuck between her teeth a lot. It's horrible. Worst thing is, her boyfriend isn't even ugly or low educated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzie Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 mmmmhhh.... i wonder why suddenly some people get a bit negative about TBWKTM ...if this is based on the first post, please read on. There was some misunderstanding since some non-Mika songs appeared on Mika's myspace and some fans thought they were Mika's... However, I don't think there is anything wrong with expressing opinions. If fans are not honest with him who else will be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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