mellody Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 On 8/28/2024 at 6:00 PM, krysady said: Mika IG story I would have loved him to appreciate all the different messages and fan projects for his bday, but I'm glad that at least he appreciated that one. That's one reason why I didn't take part in any of the other projects this year, because it appears that he doesn't care much about these things anymore. Then again, the same was true for the MFC yearbooks between 2020-2022, and last year he gave a very sweet speech again about how much he likes them. You never know with him what's next. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 3 minutes ago, mellody said: I would have loved him to appreciate all the different messages and fan projects for his bday, but I'm glad that at least he appreciated that one. That's one reason why I didn't take part in any of the other projects this year, because it appears that he doesn't care much about these things anymore. Then again, the same was true for the MFC yearbooks between 2020-2022, and last year he gave a very sweet speech again about how much he likes them. You never know with him what's next. I think he must be suffering from gift fatigue by now 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellody Posted August 30 Author Share Posted August 30 5 minutes ago, silver said: I think he must be suffering from gift fatigue by now That's such a shame... remember when he always was so excited about all the gifts he got, and his eyes lighting up like those of a child at Christmas? I get that he doesn't have enough space to store everything (and doesn't want to spend his money on renting warehouses for all the fan gifts ) but that's why all the bday projects were in electronic form, he doesn't even have to download and store them - so yeah, I guess I just miss this spirit. But I'm also glad he doesn't pretend he loves it when he doesn't. At least he's honest, I much appreciate that as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holdingyourdrink Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 12 hours ago, mellody said: because it appears that he doesn't care much about these things anymore. I personally think “being quiet about it” does not equal “not caring”. The discrepancy is more that, for us as fans, it means more to *us* than it may mean for him, which is perfectly understandable. Doesn’t take away that he will still appreciate it! And I’m sure that he does in his own quiet way. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Ko Kolkowska Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 11 hours ago, mellody said: That's such a shame... remember when he always was so excited about all the gifts he got, and his eyes lighting up like those of a child at Christmas? I get that he doesn't have enough space to store everything (and doesn't want to spend his money on renting warehouses for all the fan gifts ) but that's why all the bday projects were in electronic form, he doesn't even have to download and store them - so yeah, I guess I just miss this spirit. But I'm also glad he doesn't pretend he loves it when he doesn't. At least he's honest, I much appreciate that as well. We can't say why he doesn't comment about the gifts. Well, me when I give a present I don't expect the person to express how much she/he likes it. i am completely OK with it. Especially when it doesn't happen personally. If we only know that Mika received the gift it's great! What I have seen in the fandom is that for ex.: someone offers Mika a piece of cheese (). Mika thanks and sais that he loves this cheese. What happens next time? Several fans are buying cheese for him. If Mika sais he like a bracelet offered by a fan, other fans are trying to give him tones of bracelets. When he thanks a fan for making a funny video (which happened in the past) other fans are trying to make better and funnier videos ... ect ect... for me it's a sort of competition that appears. And of course if he mentions one project but doesn't "complement" others fans feel disappointed. Maybe he realized how it works and now he prefers not to say out loud his opinion about a gift to prevent an avalanche of them? Or a disappointment? It's my point of view. I know that other fans can have completely opposite opinion. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holdingyourdrink Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 3 minutes ago, Anna Ko Kolkowska said: We can't say why he doesn't comment about the gifts. Well, me when I give a present I don't expect the person to express how much she/he likes it. i am completely OK with it. Especially when it doesn't happen personally. If we only know that Mika received the gift it's great! What I have seen in the fandom is that for ex.: someone offers Mika a piece of cheese (). Mika thanks and sais that he loves this cheese. What happens next time? Several fans are buying cheese for him. If Mika sais he like a bracelet offered by a fan, other fans are trying to give him tones of bracelets. When he thanks a fan for making a funny video (which happened in the past) other fans are trying to make better and funnier videos ... ect ect... for me it's a sort of competition that appears. And of course if he mentions one project but doesn't "complement" others fans feel disappointed. Maybe he realized how it works and now he prefers not to say out loud his opinion about a gift to prevent an avalanche of them? Or a disappointment? It's my point of view. I know that other fans can have completely opposite opinion. You know, I think you are 100% spot on! Also, what I am about to say is a huge generalization and it’s just a hunch, but I think there is some truth to it as well: there is a reason they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. If a man says he appreciates it once, it suffices women are generally speaking in more need of continuous validation, hence the discrepancy. (But this is just my being-married-to-a-man-for-11-years(-and-only-figuring-this-out-now ).) 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vero Bott Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 47 minutes ago, Anna Ko Kolkowska said: We can't say why he doesn't comment about the gifts. Well, me when I give a present I don't expect the person to express how much she/he likes it. i am completely OK with it. Especially when it doesn't happen personally. If we only know that Mika received the gift it's great! What I have seen in the fandom is that for ex.: someone offers Mika a piece of cheese (). Mika thanks and sais that he loves this cheese. What happens next time? Several fans are buying cheese for him. If Mika sais he like a bracelet offered by a fan, other fans are trying to give him tones of bracelets. When he thanks a fan for making a funny video (which happened in the past) other fans are trying to make better and funnier videos ... ect ect... for me it's a sort of competition that appears. And of course if he mentions one project but doesn't "complement" others fans feel disappointed. Maybe he realized how it works and now he prefers not to say out loud his opinion about a gift to prevent an avalanche of them? Or a disappointment? It's my point of view. I know that other fans can have completely opposite opinion. I think you are right. And lets be honest - if he expresses his appreciation, isn't it more like a gift to us then? 😃 So lets just be happy we could take part in nice projects to celebrate his birthday, just for the sake of his birthday ❤️😊 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 51 minutes ago, Anna Ko Kolkowska said: We can't say why he doesn't comment about the gifts. Well, me when I give a present I don't expect the person to express how much she/he likes it. i am completely OK with it. Especially when it doesn't happen personally. If we only know that Mika received the gift it's great! What I have seen in the fandom is that for ex.: someone offers Mika a piece of cheese (). Mika thanks and sais that he loves this cheese. What happens next time? Several fans are buying cheese for him. If Mika sais he like a bracelet offered by a fan, other fans are trying to give him tones of bracelets. When he thanks a fan for making a funny video (which happened in the past) other fans are trying to make better and funnier videos ... ect ect... for me it's a sort of competition that appears. And of course if he mentions one project but doesn't "complement" others fans feel disappointed. Maybe he realized how it works and now he prefers not to say out loud his opinion about a gift to prevent an avalanche of them? Or a disappointment? It's my point of view. I know that other fans can have completely opposite opinion. Completely agree with you Anna. 1 minute ago, Vero Bott said: I think you are right. And lets be honest - if he expresses his appreciation, isn't it more like a gift to us then? 😃 So lets just be happy we could take part in nice projects to celebrate his birthday, just for the sake of his birthday ❤️😊 And with you Vero. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellody Posted August 31 Author Share Posted August 31 4 hours ago, Anna Ko Kolkowska said: We can't say why he doesn't comment about the gifts. Well, me when I give a present I don't expect the person to express how much she/he likes it. i am completely OK with it. Especially when it doesn't happen personally. If we only know that Mika received the gift it's great! What I have seen in the fandom is that for ex.: someone offers Mika a piece of cheese (). Mika thanks and sais that he loves this cheese. What happens next time? Several fans are buying cheese for him. If Mika sais he like a bracelet offered by a fan, other fans are trying to give him tones of bracelets. When he thanks a fan for making a funny video (which happened in the past) other fans are trying to make better and funnier videos ... ect ect... for me it's a sort of competition that appears. And of course if he mentions one project but doesn't "complement" others fans feel disappointed. Maybe he realized how it works and now he prefers not to say out loud his opinion about a gift to prevent an avalanche of them? Or a disappointment? It's my point of view. I know that other fans can have completely opposite opinion. That might be true about the competition for some fans, but I think for most fans the goal is just to make him happy and bring a smile to his face. And if he doesn't react to gifts anymore, both (the competitive and non-competitive fans) will find other ways, with fanactions or, as I see a lot on social media right now, with making outfits that they hope will catch Mika's attention in some way, as he sometimes does wear fan-made jackets on stage for a song. And as long as he reacts to fanactions or outfits, I think it makes absolutely no sense to stop reacting to gifts to avoid fans trying to compete with each other for his attention. Anyway, to be clear, I definitely did NOT want to bring down anyone who organized or participated in the bday gifts - on the contrary, I loved the postcards and also the other projects were fantastic and imo would have at least deserved a "thank you" - it doesn't have to be singling out one of the creative projects, just something like "and also thank you for all the other bday messages and projects". But maybe that's just me - if I give a gift to someone I might not expect them to be over the moon about it, but a simple "thank you" (even if it's a general one), yes, I do expect that. So that's why *I* don't participate in the creative bday gifts anymore. And I also don't think that the quality of the gifts has decreased over the years and that this is the reason for Mika's silence (rather on the contrary) ... but what silver said about "gift fatigue", even if it might have been a joke, sounds quite accurate to me. Whatever his reason for that is. That's why I said I like his honesty and that he's not doing or saying things just because others expect it from him. Whether it's a thank you or changes in his setlist. And yeah, I guess I'm contradicting myself a bit here, but it's something I've been thinking about a lot in the last few months, not actually relating to Mika's bday gifts, but as a general thought, like the red and blue pill in The Matrix. Do I prefer to know the truth or keep living in my comfortable world? And, thinking about this, I realized that honesty is one of the most important values for me, and also something I much appreciate in others. But that doesn't mean I can't be sad about things not being the way I'd like them to be. Anyway, as this discussion got longer than I had expected, maybe it's best if I move it somewhere else, to not spam this updates thread. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenBigFat Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 6 hours ago, Anna Ko Kolkowska said: Mika thanks and sais that he loves this cheese. What happens next time? Several fans are buying cheese for him Great point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 The way I look at it is that we give him gifts to say thank you for all he gives to us. But since 2007 he must have received so much from fans that for him it's nothing unusual and it must be hard for him to react (that's what I mean by "gift fatigue"). Now I prefer to support UNHCR and other charities in his name, because that's another way for us to show our appreciation. And of course fan actions are also a way to do this. particularly as they bring all the fans together and demonstrate the bond between us. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellody Posted August 31 Author Share Posted August 31 1 hour ago, silver said: And of course fan actions are also a way to do this. particularly as they bring all the fans together and demonstrate the bond between us. That is very true. I saw it in Bonn, where the fanaction as such didn't really work (holding up glowsticks was a good idea, but we didn't realize that Mika's gig would be completely in the daylight ), but I LOVED all the preparations and talking with people in the queue about it, handing out glowsticks and answering questions. Same in Schwetzingen with the flowers. It brought people together and created a connection, as opposed to everyone just queueing for themselves. The same is true for the bracelets btw (which I don't make, but I love them for this reason). I suppose that maybe the organization and participation in a gift group project might feel the same to other fans, even if it's just online. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenBigFat Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 (edited) On 8/30/2024 at 5:59 PM, mellody said: remember when he always was so excited about all the gifts he got, and his eyes lighting up like those of a child at Christmas? I wasn’t around then, but what it sounds like is…it was the early years. He conquered all the early personal and professional rejection, and when his fans gave him gifts, they were special and new. He had not yet had the decades (well, almost) of adoration that are now part of his history. Which makes gifts less exciting, and probably changes the nature of his appreciation. Edited September 1 by QueenBigFat 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carafon Posted September 1 Share Posted September 1 And we have to consider that he's not on tour for his b-day anymore. He probably wants to disconnect from his job for a while. And even if it's the nice part of it, we are part of the job.... 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holdingyourdrink Posted September 1 Share Posted September 1 ….maybe we’re interpreting way too much in his intentions and the man is just busy - most likely explanation 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcdeb Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 On 8/30/2024 at 5:38 PM, mellody said: I would have loved him to appreciate all the different messages and fan projects for his bday, but I'm glad that at least he appreciated that one. That's one reason why I didn't take part in any of the other projects this year, because it appears that he doesn't care much about these things anymore. Then again, the same was true for the MFC yearbooks between 2020-2022, and last year he gave a very sweet speech again about how much he likes them. You never know with him what's next. On 8/31/2024 at 5:47 AM, holdingyourdrink said: I personally think “being quiet about it” does not equal “not caring”. The discrepancy is more that, for us as fans, it means more to *us* than it may mean for him, which is perfectly understandable. Doesn’t take away that he will still appreciate it! And I’m sure that he does in his own quiet way. I have to say that I agree -- just because he doesn't comment about a gift doesn't mean that he didn't see it, or didn't like it. Or that he doesn't care or appreciate it. I also think a lot of you have made some very valid points about why we don't always get a "thank you" -- I think there's a bit of "Oh, if I thank one person or group, then I'll disappoint all the others I miss" mixed with, "I just don't have the time to thank everyone properly," mixed with "I AM on holiday" and even a bit of embarrassed "am I really deserving of all this attention?" The fact that he takes the time to acknowledge the big donation from MFC shows he values MFC and that effort -- it does stand out to him, because we've done it for so many years now -- but it's not meant to diminish the importance of anyone or any other gift. I heard from his team that he did see the postcard video and lots of the other individual messages on social media and I'm sure they all made him smile. I know we wish for a more visible acknowledgement, but 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenBigFat Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 Still, if his people could say that, so could he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holdingyourdrink Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 16 hours ago, dcdeb said: think there's a bit of "Oh, if I thank one person or group, then I'll disappoint all the others I miss" mixed with, "I just don't have the time to thank everyone properly," mixed with "I AM on holiday" and even a bit of embarrassed "am I really deserving of all this attention?" 100% agree. 16 hours ago, dcdeb said: I heard from his team that he did see the postcard video and lots of the other individual messages on social media and I'm sure they all made him smile. Thank you for sharing, I’m very sure this makes a lot of people happy!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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